Happy Talk

Why do we make choices we know have a good chance of making us miserable?

I’ve long been wary of what I call the “And Then What?” trap. I see it all around me, and it goes something like this:

A parent makes it their mission to get their child into the best preschool in their area. That school funnels the child into the best K-12 prep school, outside of which they participate in the ideal mix of extra-curricular activities. Starting in, say, third grade, the parent begins shelling out a small fortune for tutors and weekend tutors as well as private coaches and classes to make sure the child has an edge over all the other children, and everything will line up for admission to Princeton, maybe Amherst or Stanford. Upon graduation, the child, now a young adult, lands a six-figure job that will soon afford them a beautiful home and a beautiful second home, vacations to all the right places, and a driver who will arrive each morning in a black Mercedes to shuttle their 2.5 children back and forth from their top-rated preschool.

And then what?

Well, apparently, misery. As well as anxiety, depression, and possibly lifelong feelings of dissatisfaction and discontent. So why do parents buy into it? Why do they feed their children into it? Why don’t they choose to adopt a different system of beliefs that has a much greater chance of bringing them happiness?

In general, I’m not interested in anyone who claims to know how to make people happier. It all…